45 Degrees below surrounded by this cold, knee-deep snow....I am here...day dreaming of that tropical weather now more than everhoping that the memories will melt my frozen tears.
I speak for myself when I say that I feel more at home in the Philippines, than I do here in Canada, but regardless of my sense of belonging, there is no denying the fact that my flesh and bone were born here in the West. I am a Canadian-Filipino, and as simple as it sounds, it took me 22 years to figure that out.
While I was in the Philippines I found myself researching alot about the history, the culture, the people,etc. I really wasn't all that interested in what the modern Filipino culture had to offer because well, much of it is all the same in North America anyway. Their television programs are a straight bite from American TV. (deal or no deal, survivor, so on and so forth) Huge influence indeed. Even the music was american influenced. Most of the bands I heard perform live did mostly cover songs, very few "original" music, which is sad to me because I am a music freak. I hope I don't get things twisted, because I dont hate America, but come on, I travelled across the Pacific Ocean to see the Philippines, not America.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
an essay. esay!
I have always wanted to be an artist, but what kind of artist was always a question. In my first year of high school I needed to make a decision about my studies. A decision that would most likely determine where I would end up 5 years down the line. There I was standing in between the combatants. Passion vs. Career. I placed my bets on a Career
In June of 2002 I graduated from the Technical Vocational High School with an Award of Excellence in the Techincal Drafting field. Confident with my skills as a Draftsman, I decided to take my education to a higher level. I enrolled in the Civil Cad Technology program, and studied Building Design at the Red River College in Winnipeg Manioba. Within two years of studies, I gained valuable knowledge in both Mechanical and Architectural Drafting, proving that my capabilities in the classroom were just what I needed to breakthrough in the workworld. In May 2004 I was hired by Metal Tech Industries, a metal fabrication company who specializes in custom metal designs. After 6 months of serving the company as a draftsman, I was promoted to Head water jet operator, where I programmed a high pressured water machine to make precision cuts according to the designs. The work was tolerable, the income was decent, but all in all it was not excactly what I had in mind as my dream job. Looking around the shop, it came to my attention that I was the youngest employee of the company. I told myself that I did not want to end up working here for the next 15 years. Drained by the repetetive work, the low energy, and lack of enthusiasm in my fellow workers, the only things that kept me sane were the 15 minutes of break time devoted to drawing in my blackbook, or the weekends painting, dancing, and listening to music.
In July 2005 a close friend of mine passed away due to heart failure. He was an artist. A very talented artist. His works inspired me, and his death at such a young age re-directing my focus to the values of life and love. If I am not doing what I love, and loving what I do, then what am I doing here? Surely enough, the long hours at work guaranteed that I would be receiving a secure paycheque after every two weeks, but I became tired of living for just the weekends. I felt as though something were missing.I wanted to create for a living.
Most people will say that the business of being an artist is all based on entrepeneualism. You must be able to be your own boss in order to be successful in the industry. Whether you are doing contract work as an animator, or you sell paintings for a living, or even if you work a stable job at a Graphic Design company. Most people will also say that the school you go to does not matter, but I find that the instructors, and the reputation do hold an advantage over other schools that are as reputable. Upon reviewing the portfolios, and the sample work of AITO graduates I am confident that the faculty members are training the students with the proper guidance. I do not expect AITO to teach me how to create, but I am hoping that through their guidance, that I may build the confidence within myself to push myself as an artist and take my creativity to another level.
To create is to give rise to the unseen, the unheard, the unknown. It is the cause of all existence, and the ever-changing world we live in today. Without the use of imagination, of bright ideas, of opinons and suggestions, evolution would be at a standstill. Historical pages of poetry would be forever monotonous. We would watch re-runs of "Groundhog day", everyday, and the light bulb above our heads would not glow, because everything would be finalized. Above all, I would not be writing this very essay, for if creativity did not exist, there would be no Art Institute that allows one to develop such a skill.
My goal is create my way of living. Untill I can go to work with a smile, and see my work is rewarding to me. Its not always the paycheque but being proud of my work that makes me want to go to work with a smile. I have not as of yet been able to honestly say that I ennjoy my job. With the expection of Art City. I love those kids. I will not stop untill that is what I am doing for a living. I understand that is a very intense course, so I have already begun reading, and drawing, and doing all that I can to prepare for the July start date. I am confident that my drawing skills will help me excell in the Animation course, and my strong will and desire will help me learn the skills and techniques that I do not know.
In June of 2002 I graduated from the Technical Vocational High School with an Award of Excellence in the Techincal Drafting field. Confident with my skills as a Draftsman, I decided to take my education to a higher level. I enrolled in the Civil Cad Technology program, and studied Building Design at the Red River College in Winnipeg Manioba. Within two years of studies, I gained valuable knowledge in both Mechanical and Architectural Drafting, proving that my capabilities in the classroom were just what I needed to breakthrough in the workworld. In May 2004 I was hired by Metal Tech Industries, a metal fabrication company who specializes in custom metal designs. After 6 months of serving the company as a draftsman, I was promoted to Head water jet operator, where I programmed a high pressured water machine to make precision cuts according to the designs. The work was tolerable, the income was decent, but all in all it was not excactly what I had in mind as my dream job. Looking around the shop, it came to my attention that I was the youngest employee of the company. I told myself that I did not want to end up working here for the next 15 years. Drained by the repetetive work, the low energy, and lack of enthusiasm in my fellow workers, the only things that kept me sane were the 15 minutes of break time devoted to drawing in my blackbook, or the weekends painting, dancing, and listening to music.
In July 2005 a close friend of mine passed away due to heart failure. He was an artist. A very talented artist. His works inspired me, and his death at such a young age re-directing my focus to the values of life and love. If I am not doing what I love, and loving what I do, then what am I doing here? Surely enough, the long hours at work guaranteed that I would be receiving a secure paycheque after every two weeks, but I became tired of living for just the weekends. I felt as though something were missing.I wanted to create for a living.
Most people will say that the business of being an artist is all based on entrepeneualism. You must be able to be your own boss in order to be successful in the industry. Whether you are doing contract work as an animator, or you sell paintings for a living, or even if you work a stable job at a Graphic Design company. Most people will also say that the school you go to does not matter, but I find that the instructors, and the reputation do hold an advantage over other schools that are as reputable. Upon reviewing the portfolios, and the sample work of AITO graduates I am confident that the faculty members are training the students with the proper guidance. I do not expect AITO to teach me how to create, but I am hoping that through their guidance, that I may build the confidence within myself to push myself as an artist and take my creativity to another level.
To create is to give rise to the unseen, the unheard, the unknown. It is the cause of all existence, and the ever-changing world we live in today. Without the use of imagination, of bright ideas, of opinons and suggestions, evolution would be at a standstill. Historical pages of poetry would be forever monotonous. We would watch re-runs of "Groundhog day", everyday, and the light bulb above our heads would not glow, because everything would be finalized. Above all, I would not be writing this very essay, for if creativity did not exist, there would be no Art Institute that allows one to develop such a skill.
My goal is create my way of living. Untill I can go to work with a smile, and see my work is rewarding to me. Its not always the paycheque but being proud of my work that makes me want to go to work with a smile. I have not as of yet been able to honestly say that I ennjoy my job. With the expection of Art City. I love those kids. I will not stop untill that is what I am doing for a living. I understand that is a very intense course, so I have already begun reading, and drawing, and doing all that I can to prepare for the July start date. I am confident that my drawing skills will help me excell in the Animation course, and my strong will and desire will help me learn the skills and techniques that I do not know.
what a mess
war with oneselfim helpless or atleast thats how it feelslost between satisfied with the bullshit and this doesn't seem realthe wheels of life keep turningand all the learning curves have not straightenedup yetim a lost cause suspected of being a weak subjectsubjected to do immoral thingsthat no real king would ever dare tounprepared i walk through my life scared of the newafraid of being seen nudebut what is there to hide reallyits just my flesh just a piece of flesh like everyone elsesor perhaps im just selfishor perhaps im just so self centereddrawn out of my circle towards the pointedim losttired and aanno yingmyself with all this tirednessone day im wired up the other im tired as sfuckwhat a rutwhat a mess
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