Lucky

So here I am.
drunk out of my mind
without a clue as to what to say...
I sit here without a second guess
so I guess its a good thing
that Im drunk?
no.
yes...
maybe..
ohh who gives a shit
this feels very proessional like
you know..
with the computer and all
but who gives a gawdneegoawddamn about what comes out
im a nobody.
a shadow
a dark cloud
a man without a face
what i say does not matter
and you know what
...i like it
i like how it was
when no one recognized the expression as a talent
when they ignored it
thinking that it was just some ridiculour phase
that every high school student seems to go through
im fine with this
no face and all
in face I enjoy it
i could give a fuck about those
who see this as a commidity
im free
cant you see
but then again
without a critic
that entitles me to be untitled
and with no title that means im free to be...stupid
free to make no sense
and oh what a joy is that
to be ignorant and abnoxious
noooo...thats not it
its that i can write and be free
free?
but when your free you dont speak with conviction
and if you don't have conviction
no one is going to believe you
so what if they dont believe me
let them believe what they want to believe
i want some space
some time to be stupid
and aboxoius and ignorant
and i want them to recognize that I am human too
that i make faults
...on purpsoe just to prove that i am everything but alien
that i everything but the best
I want to be picked on just as much as i am praised
because i believe in equality
and if you want to believe in that
more the merrier
the greater it will become
the more that I can write without having to feel
like this is a job
but thats the last thing that i ever wanted from this
to be seen as a hardworker
i just want my wings back
I want to be able to smile when
ideas come naturally flowing through me
i want the universe to play me like an instrument
and shine like the sun instead of spray rain
over every mistake
every unforced error
this is supposed to be fun
so please dont make me feel that i have to prove myself
dont force me to make a decision that i will later regret
dont make me feel more than I am
because im not like those other bigshots
with the 60 inch penises and the long limosines streching from
western canadian to eastern asia
im no bigger than the average
im just right
im not above you
nor beneath you
im just..
and i just want to have my space
my dignity
my respect
my place
my solitute
my peace

peace.